When our children misbehave, use bad language, refuse to study, stay up late or insist to play a certain video game that we disapprove, they always say “everybody is doing this!!!” we usually believe it and surrender or enter in a loop of endless negotiations about it and then… we end up giving up too and blame it on what we call “peer pressure!”
He’s probably a child of your son’s age..!! Does that “peer” have a stronger personality than your son?! Do you really believe that he can have that great influence on your son!! If yes… then have you asked yourself “why?” and how to counterbalance that influence… if it exists?
The answer is that when your son does any of the behaviors I mentioned at the beginning of the blog, he’s raising the flag of “I NEED YOU, MUM!” “I NEED your GUIDANCE, DAD” “I NEED your PRESENCE and your positive INVOLVEMENT in my life”…
Yes, this is the hidden message in your child’s or teen’s behavior… when he doesn’t get his needs from you … he simply seeks them from the surroundings…. which are the “PEERS”.
Please parents…..Never underestimate the power of the parent-child strong relationship…. it is the prevention and cure for all problems!
Your healthy influence on your son or daughter is stronger than anything you are afraid of!! Yes, children make mistakes… Yes, teens make even more mistakes… that’s normal and natural… it’s the age of “learning through doing”…. the age of “trial and error” When you are keen on having a one – on – one quality time listening to your child in a nonjudgmental way, giving him attention, appreciating him, get involved proactively in his life, accepting his mistakes with calm guidance rather than criticism… he’ll be confident enough and will not seek the appreciation or attention from his “peers” or going with their flow!!
Your open conversations with your children will allow them to absorb your family values naturally and they grow up standing up for those values.
He will be expected to change his community and have a good influence on his friends and colleagues when needed. So Let’s all start today and focus on raising a teen who is a “POSITIVE PEER PRESSURE”!
By Heba Fawzy
PCI Certified Parent Coach® ,
Personal Coach
PCI Alumni Regional Leader
A great article Heba, well written and has a very important message.
Looking forward for more ??